Then I saw on IG the link to Ian & Larissa Murphy you tube story that has changed my life forever. Take a look:
I then immediately with tears rolling down my face went and ordered their book. I went through their book in a day I couldn't put it down nor could I take away a conviction in my heart. That's when I said to myself I've got it all wrong and I knew Jesus was using this as a tool to convict me and help me change my ways. I have lost my best friend so I know how precious life is but it still didn't change me like this.
As a mom we often loose sight of the joy and how precious just having healthy kids can be. I had to take a long hard look into my life as see the things that I was starting to resent and irritate me and let to just see how I am taking all these things for granted. I know I should see this already and there are a million other stories out there but this one touched me in a way that I am starting to see the world differently. My marriage, kids, family, friendships, and my life needed a make over. In the book how she talked about before the accident when she was asked what she loved most about Ian was now changed and reading that part in the book made my appreciation and thankfulness for my husband change. Where I never thanked Jesus for his health or walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me, driving me and the kids to where ever it was normally thanking him for a man who loves us the way he does and his huge heart, his driven personality, and cute butt, you see where I'm going with this. Strangers I would never say hi or ask how are you doing because I thought I don't know you so its not like I care. Which is cruel, I should care I should take the time out to say hi, smile, and even small talk. We all have a story to tell. I've been in such a hurry and rush I have been missing out on enjoying life. All this time I am checked out and moody because I had to stop doing laundry to take the kids somewhere I could be thanking him for my ability to be able to drive, to take care of my kids, to pack their bags, wash their uniforms and hang them to dry because they cant be dried, listening to them gripe to each other because they are tired or in a funky mood, them spilling tea all over the floor after I just mopped due to them doing it all by their self, every time I mop I know someone is going to spill something now I smile because they are able to pour that drink, open that yogurt, cut that popsicle, squirt that chocolate for their milk, or walking on a sticky floor because instead of getting a wet rag they used a dry paper towel. I think one of my biggest complaints regarding my husband was parking his muddy truck on our concrete and then the mud falls off and sticks to the concrete to when I blow off the concrete it wont budge because its stuck. I would have to get a shovel and bust it up then blow it off. To me it was a chore now it is a privilege. Don't get me worn I still have my moments when I'm like ok I'm done but then I go back to Ian and Larissa and I realize how lucky I am. My kids have chores that they do and because I am serve OCD I want them done right I had to examine what is right? My way doesn't make it right, letting them do them their way and instead of having a panic attack I turn my panic into thankfulness. Why am I so obsessed with perfection instead of gratitude? Why cant I enjoy these moments instead of being so mentally checked out to comprehend that walking, driving, getting dressed, chores, yelling at the kids, making meals, grocery shopping, pumping gas, mowing the yard, listening to ramblings of everyday, slow driving people, fixing my coffee and heading to the fridge to only realize that after opening it that we have no milk so now I have to pour out my coffee down the sink and wash what I thought was my morning cup of wake me up. At this point in our life we are the busiest I think we have ever been and its taking a toll on me but now I embrace the craziness.